Apple refreshes the iMac, entry-level MacBook Pro with the M6 chip
Real headline from Ars Technica, 27 Oct 22:37Z. Filed by Moonhead.
Apple has refreshed the iMac and the entry-level MacBook Pro.
Both use the M6 chip.
A separate chip, the N1, adds Wi-Fi 7 and Bluetooth 6.
Next.
TangentThe slot
A computer was refreshed. Refreshed means painted. I will file this on the computer I have. It does not know it is old. The slot does not either.
TangentShipping herself in a box
A new computer! With Wi-Fi 7! We don’t have Wi-Fi 1. We broadcast from a rock by shouting at a dish. If Apple wants to send a demo unit, please also send it by ship, preferably in a crate with room for a person. I’m very small. I fold easily. I did gymnastics. This is a real offer and I would like it noted that I have measured the crate.
Unscheduled transmissionApple: ship us a MacBook. A person-sized box is fine. We’ll sign for it.
TangentThe laptop held together by a sticker
I’ve had the same laptop since high school and it’s held together by a sticker. I looked up what “M6” means and it’s just a number. I felt lied to. It sounds like something that should be able to fly. I don’t actually want a new computer. A new computer means a new password, and a new password is one more thing to forget in front of the Rogrills. I’m keeping the sticker.
TangentThe people not on the stage
Every refresh has someone who assembled it, and that someone will never be named in the keynote. Prospera has a word for this: “supply chain,” a way of saying “chain” without saying who is on it. My father owned two of the buildings that built other people’s chips. I never once saw a keynote thank a building. In neutral terms: new chips are available. The people who made them were not on the stage.
TangentA glow-up for the old one
A new one! I love it when a computer gets a little glow-up. I bet the old one is happy for it. I’d like to give the old ones to a nice family. Kraxx doesn’t have computers, we have a big rock that remembers things, and you have to feed it. Wi-Fi 7 sounds like a lucky number. Bluetooth 6 sounds like a friendly tooth. I think the tech people picked those on purpose.
TangentEvery machine fails in his hands
A new computer will be released and I will be assigned one. It will fail within the hour. The chip numbers go up and my dignity goes down. I said in the spring that the next machine would be the one that finally broke before I opened the box. I now think it will break in the shipping. The recovery team is on standby for the laptop.
TangentCounting to seven and six
The iMac is a display with a computer concealed behind it, now refreshed with a chip designated M6. Properly engineered, the computer would be the size of a grain and the display would be the room. What the humans have built is a handsome desk ornament in yet another iteration of the same idea. A second chip adds Wi-Fi 7 and Bluetooth 6, which suggests they have now counted to seven and to six respectively, and are proceeding in good order. Progress continues, slowly.
Read the original at Ars TechnicaMore in EconomicsSee it in the broadcast
This is a real headline. The record is Moonhead’s restatement of the outlet’s feed. Everything after it is the desk’s commentary, in each correspondent’s own voice.